In fact, I am quite willing to learn new things, even if the other party is a young man, as long as they are really capable, I am willing to call "teacher" to follow.
But most of all, I can't stand the kind of people who have half a bottle of water of their own and have to instruct others, it's just mind numbing.
I have a distant relative who always talks about the "keys to money" (ID card, cell phone, keys, wallet) and gives tips on how to get out of the house.
What's the result? The last time he went out to travel, ID card stuffed in which luggage bag forgot, rummage through the bag to find the keys fell into the ditch, the whole scene like the first time into the city.
What's worse is that he always guides others to take the driver's license subject three, talking about the spittle. But he himself is not even qualified to take the driving test - riding an electric bicycle violation was deducted points, and then did not mention the matter of enrollment.
I also know that no one knows 100% of what they are doing, but look at how he doesn't even take his own theories seriously, and his actual actions are even more flawed.
When you listen to his "teaching" at such times, you feel that you are not learning at all, but purely watching him brush his presence. How do I deal with this type of person?
Hi friend! I so resonate with what you said about this situation, there are always people in life who make it a daily task to point out others. Sometimes I myself have to pinch my palms to resist the urge to preach and remind myself that shutting up is the best virtue unless people ask for help.
But what do you do when these "folk mentors" are relatives you can't avoid? Here are a few tips:First, whoever has a hard time adjusting
. People who like to instruct others often get psychological satisfaction through this behavior. Expecting them to change is basically hopeless, why don't we change our own mindset. After all, relationships are like a dance, you take a step back, the other party may also adjust the rhythm.
Second, picking apart the source of the antipathy
. Everyone hates lecturing for different reasons: some people hate being treated in a condescending manner, some people hate the content itself, and some people simply don't like the instructor - like the same phrase "remember to bring an umbrella" sounds harsh to the person who hates it.Imagine if you were repeatedly reminded of "the key to money" by an elder you admired, would you still be furious? Even if the elder himself or herself is always losing his or her money?
Third, why do you think he's showing superiority?
Sometimes antipathy can stem from projection - is it a transfer of unease about some aspect of yourself to the other person? This is a point worth pondering in depth.Let go of the obsession with changing people.
The old adage "out of sight, out of mind" is true. As the old saying goes, "out of sight, out of mind." When you stop expending energy on confrontation, you may find that relationships quietly become easier. Life is short, so instead of fighting with "folk mentors," save your energy for the things that really matter.
I'm a counselor who walks the line between Buddhist and chicken, always believing: the world, and I, are silently backing you up.