Children who have been brought up by grandparents or grandparents may have deficiencies in their sense of respect and manners.
Due to the lack of delayed gratification education, Grandpa is impatient and Grandma is tolerant but not very principled.
Dads are used to waking up late and are less responsible; moms are demanding and critical but less able to encourage their children.
The main conflict at the moment is the child's addiction to computer games, and the family's agreement that they can only play after their studies have been completed.
However, the child gradually learns to deceive his grandpa, such as dragging subjects unfamiliar to his grandpa, such as English, to be completed after the game, or making his grandpa believe that the task has been done by lying, resulting in unsatisfactory academic performance.
It's a good thing that grandpa is an excellent math teacher and the kids are doing well in math.
The child rejects his mother who knows a foreign language to help him with his studies, and when she intervenes, he gets angry and destroys the learning atmosphere with confrontation or cold violence.
Your child attends a boarding school with a top class, and you can't keep up with the progress, but instead of recognizing your own problems, your child is racking your brains playing games.
The holidays are coming to an end, and if you can't keep up during this time, subsequent learning will be more of a struggle.
Parents want their child to be demoted or adjusted, but the child does not agree and does not want to make the effort to tutor.
The problem is at an impasse, how to break it? I would be grateful for expert guidance.
Hello parents! I am Seven Stars, a homeschooling instructor.
I can feel your anxiety and upset and also notice that you have labeled your family and children in a negative way.
From the description it is clear that there is tension and lack of trust in the family and this atmosphere is not conducive to the child's growth. To improve the child's behavior and impasse, you have to start by repairing the relationship between the family members.
Let's say that if parents don't show enough respect to the elderly at home or argue a lot, how can children learn respect?
So, in order for your child to change, you must first start with yourself and your family interactions. It's a long process that requires patience; don't expect to see a huge transformation in a week or two or a month or two.
I'll give you a few suggestions for reference:
1、Try to switch perspectives and find out more about your family's strengths. For example:
Grandma's Strengths: Experienced in teaching math and can effectively tutor children in math;
Mom's strengths: high standards, foreign language skills, and expectations for her children;
Kid's strengths: smart and clever, just misplaced energy at the moment ......
Focus more on the positives and tap into what makes each person tick;
2. Affirm yourself first to build self-confidence. If we always deny ourselves, it is easy to look at the outside world with a negative mindset, and it is difficult to find the good.
When you start to change, the world around you changes.
3. Focus on your child and gain a deeper understanding of what he really thinks. The grades are only superficial, the core problem is not solved, the conflict will continue.
What is the reason behind your child's desperation to play games? Is it the lack of friends at school? Is it the sense of accomplishment that comes from gaming? Or is it feeling lonely? ...... It requires parents to listen to their children more.
Only when you find the root cause of the behavior can you treat it.
Please believe in yourself and believe in your child!