It's my senior year of college and I realize that I seem to be getting colder and colder towards my parents, what should I do? ,
Ever since I was a child, my parents have often been in a state of cold violence, and now that I'm a senior in college, they still often don't talk to each other when I come home and need me to be the messenger.
Every once in a while they ease up a bit and I worry that they'll get into a fight when they talk.
I know that both of my parents love me very much and I can feel their love and care, but it seems that I can't feel my own love for them.
When I was in junior high school, they had a big fight to divorce, my mom told me, I was crying, but not because I couldn't let go of anyone, I just felt that my parents divorced and I should cry before I cried, and then because the Civil Affairs Bureau is closed on the weekends, it didn't work out.
Another time, Dad got drunk and beat up someone and didn't come home for a long time when it was almost New Year's Eve, Mom was anxious for me to call and ask before Dad said that he was detained because he beat up one of the leaders, Mom was so anxious, but I didn't worry about Dad going to jail like she did, instead I was calm as usual.
My mom told me to text and talk to my dad and I actually didn't know what to talk about, even my mom thought I was a little cold.
After college, I rarely reached out to them either.
But sometimes, I feel my love for them so strongly that I beat myself up for being indifferent to them and vow to care for them more, but after a few days the feeling fades.
Hello classmates! Seeing the confusion you are facing, first of all, a warm hug to you!
Maybe every time you try to contact your parents, those scenes from your childhood come back to you.
For example, in those days my parents fought a lot.
You feel helpless and can't do anything but curl up in a corner, afraid of what you'll do if they do get divorced.
The thought of contacting your parents may put you back in "child mode".
But really, in your heart you want to be good to your parents.
I wonder if your parents use WeChat?
If it works, try writing them a letter telling them about the hurt they suffered as a child and explaining that this may be the reason for your current apathy and that you didn't mean it.
Your parents may give you some feedback when they see the letter.
Each of us has three states: the child state, the parent state, and the adult state.
To learn more, we recommend reading the book Mr. Toad Goes to the Psychiatrist.
I sincerely hope that your problem will be solved soon.
That's all I can think of at the moment.
I hope my answer is helpful to you. I am the answerer learn well everyday.
In, the world and I love you. Good luck!
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