My mom and dad are almost 60 years old, they have been fighting almost every day for the past 20 years of their marriage, and now they sleep in separate rooms. My dad has the mentality of a small child, he does not do things reliably, and he is especially wimpy outside, but when people in the family talk about him, he starts cursing. My mom, on the other hand, wallows in sadness all day long, always sighing and crying.
They are both rather traditional people and are dead set against divorce.
I now think of going home will feel especially depressing, sometimes even afraid to see them, especially when I heard my mom crying, heart clenched tight, can not sleep the whole night, I feel particularly powerless, and also helpless.
This situation at home has deeply affected every aspect of my life and I don't know how to cope. I have a stable job, a beloved girlfriend, and I want to live a simple and happy life, but when I think of my parents, I break down and lose all my confidence in an instant.
Ah ...... ah ......
Hello friend! Thank you so much for sharing your distress, I can truly feel the immense pressure and helplessness you are under in this family environment. Years of parents arguing and disagreeing can really have a deep emotional psychological impact on children, both now and in the future.
First of all, you have to understand that the problem between your parents is not your fault and it is not something that can be easily solved by you alone. The fact that this situation has been going on for twenty years shows that the problems are deeply rooted and they have their own way of life as adults. As much as you want them to be happy, it's really not something you can change unilaterally.
It's important to learn to protect yourself. With such a depressing family atmosphere, you have the right to draw a line in the sand about your mental health. Things like going home less often or doing some mental preparation before you go home, like taking deep breaths and talking to a trusted friend, can help you alleviate negative feelings.
Try to communicate with your parents and express your feelings and concerns. While they may not change right away, letting them know your pain may prompt them to reflect. If it's too hard to say it directly, write a letter and clear out what's on your mind.
Finding outside support is especially crucial. In addition to talking to your girlfriend, consider seeing a professional counselor who can offer more specialized advice. At the same time, keep in touch with your friends and participate in some social activities to give yourself a boost of positive energy.
Focusing on your life and future is the point. Don't you have a steady job and a girlfriend? Those are the highlights of life. Make an effort to focus on these areas, develop some hobbies, set personal goals, and strive for yourself. As you become independent and confident, you can find happiness and fulfillment even if your family circumstances are less than ideal.
Remember that taking care of yourself is the most important thing. Only with a healthy body and mind will you be able to cope with challenges better. I hope these tips help you to slowly find inner peace. I wish you to come out of the shadows soon and live a simple and beautiful life. 💞