I would like to find a counselor who can really see how I am feeling in the moment, such as acknowledging my emotions when I am anxious, fearful, or sad, and who sees in a very respectful way.
I want the counselor to make sure that everything I say is how I really feel, even if I'm being harsh on myself, that it's my true experience, and at the same time help me see another possibility.
When I don't want to talk, don't force me to talk or pressure me with words like "I can't help you if you don't talk". I've had a counselor who just responded perfunctorily without giving me positive feedback when I repeatedly emphasized that talking wouldn't help.
When I experience good, I want you to be there for me, to confirm that my positive experience is something to be cherished.
You were there for me when I experienced bad, confirming that my negative experiences were just as worthy of being seen.
In this way, I can slowly stabilize myself.
It is only next that deeper exploration and awareness can take place.
I don't want a counselor to always analyze or say "I understand you", but I don't feel understood at all.
For example, if I say something uncomfortable, it's fine if you don't acknowledge my feelings, but at least ask me about my emotions instead of just saying "okay". Once I asked my counselor why she said "okay" and she explained that it was a response to me, but that confused me even more.
Hello friends, I'm the enthusiastic respondent of the lofty emotions, I'm very happy to have the fate through this platform and your first encounter.
I can especially understand that you've met a counselor who may not be a good fit, and that can really cause quite a bit of distress.
A warm hug to you first!
⭕️ briefly sorts out the heart of the matter:
This counselor may not be doing a good enough job of empathizing, or perhaps is using some kind of ruse to cope and make you feel like you're not really being seen.
△ In fact, similar situations are not uncommon in real life, so we need to keep our eyes open and learn to recognize them.
⭕️ From a psychological perspective, empathy and respect are the foundation of counseling
I would like to briefly share my views:
Why is counseling not cheap? It's because there is a high demand for empathy and absolute respect, and the counselor needs to truly appreciate the feelings of the visitor in order to provide effective help.
What should ⭕️ do to fix it?
It is recommended that you may decisively consider changing counselors and stopping an inappropriate counseling relationship in a timely manner.
Alternatively, try self-care and talk to friends who are going through similar experiences, which can often bring solace. Because we're all in similar situations, it's easier to empathize and help you express your emotions more delicately.
Way to go friend, and I'm always rooting for you.
I hope my sharing brings you some warmth.