I often felt like an extra person at home, dispensable. When I was a child, every time I made a mistake, my parents would always blurt out, "Go to hell", and those words stuck in my heart like a thorn in my side, making me believe that maybe I shouldn't have come into this world at all.
Hey, pal.
It's super awesome that you're brave enough to say what's on your mind! I'm sure deep down there's still a glimmer of hope in you that you want to keep living, so make sure you go for it! 😊😊
❤️ From what you've briefly shared, it seems that the thoughts you find redundant may stem from hurtful words from your parents in the past. It's always easy for children to take adults' words seriously, but off-the-cuff gaslighting when they're angry like your parents did isn't serious advice at all, and you don't need to take it to heart at all.
❤️ If you have moments of peace with your parents, try to take the opportunity to connect with them and talk about how you feel. Maybe they regretted it themselves after saying those things and just don't know how to reconnect with you.
❤️ You may be confused about your life's purpose and values right now, but it will take time to explore, and that's okay, everyone goes through this process. Believe in yourself and eventually you will find your way.
❤️ There are inevitably bumps in the road of life, but there are always good things that come along for the ride. It's those little positive moments, like a smile or a heartwarming conversation, that you'll look back on and cherish.
❤️ Maybe you could try recording three good things a day, any smaller, like eating a delicious snack or accomplishing a small goal. There is so much goodness in life waiting for you to discover; remember that everyone comes into this world with a unique value and is never redundant. Good luck finding your light soon, cheers!